- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In all the counterfoils of your cheque book, write "for marijuana."
- Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
- Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- Sing along at the opera
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won, I won!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose."
- Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
- Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
I hope you laughed. xoxo